Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
