Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
