Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I understand Curling. That high.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
