out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Less talking, more tequila
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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