Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
