I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
