no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
