Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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