Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
