I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
