well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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