I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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