STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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