he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
