We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
