trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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