if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
