Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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