Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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