I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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