there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Say something about gay babies.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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