I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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