You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
