I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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