It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
