This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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