I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
