Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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