It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
