So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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