Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
