I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
