Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
