I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
