shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
