Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
