I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
