jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
