I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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