So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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