So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
