where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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