strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
