Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
