He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
