Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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