Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
