this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
