think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
