Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
